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Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want as a dinner guest?

Fast Friends

Three sets of twelve, done in order, both of you answering. Each set asks a little more than the last.

How to play

  1. Two people. Work through the three sets in order; do not skip ahead.
  2. Both of you answer every card, taking turns to go first.
  3. Give it about forty-five minutes. Set three is where it lands.

Level 1

  1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want as a dinner guest?

  2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

  3. Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

  4. What would a perfect day look like for you?

  5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

  6. If you could live to ninety and keep either the mind or the body of a thirty-year-old for the last sixty years, which would you choose?

  7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

  8. What three things do you and your partner seem to have in common?

  9. What in your life are you most grateful for?

  10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

  11. In four minutes, what is your life story, in as much detail as you can manage?

  12. If you could wake up tomorrow with any one quality or ability, what would it be?

  13. What's something small you're unreasonably good at?

  14. What song do you know every word to, and who taught it to you?

  15. When did you last laugh so hard you couldn't make a sound?

  16. What did you assume was normal in your family until you met other families?

  17. Which parent are you more like, and how do you feel about that?

  18. What's the worst thing about being the age you are now?

  19. What did you love doing before you cared whether you were good at it?

  20. What did you want to be when you were eight, and what happened to that idea?

  21. Tell your partner about something you achieved that nobody made a fuss about.

  22. If someone who knew you as a child met you now, what change would surprise them most?

  23. If you could replay one ordinary day from your past, what would you be doing?

  24. What do you wish you had figured out ten years ago?

  25. What did you once think would fix your life?

  26. Which job did you have in your family?

  27. Which story about yourself do you tell too often?

  28. What do you pretend to enjoy, and who are you pretending for?

  29. Tell your partner about the person who shaped you most, and what they'd make of you now.

  30. What lie do your parents still believe about you?

  31. What's the longest you've ever walked in one go, and what were you thinking about?

  32. Which room in any house you've lived in do you miss?

  33. What did you hide from your parents as a teenager?

  34. What do people praise you for that you don't care about?

  35. What did you lie about for years before anyone caught it?

  36. Who from your childhood do you wish you could thank now?

  37. Which room from your childhood can you still walk through in your head? Who's in it?

  38. What did you quit that you still think about?

  39. What did you have to teach yourself because nobody showed you?

  40. How would we have got along if we'd met five years ago?

  41. What was your worst summer job, and how long did you last?

  42. What is the worst advice you took?

  43. Tell your partner about a weird neighbor you grew up next to.

  44. Tell your partner about a neighbour you'll never forget.

  45. When was the first time you talked back to an adult and won?

  46. Tell your partner about the weirdest place you have ever slept.

  47. Who got away with the most in your family, and how did they do it?

  48. Who taught you to drive, and how did that go?

  49. What did you vow to never do for money again?

  50. What's the first job you ever had, and what did it teach you about people?

  51. Which town or city would you never live in again, and what's wrong with it?

  52. What have you been given too much credit for?

  53. Which scar on you has the best story behind it?

  54. Which trip went badly at the time and makes a good story now?

  55. Who do you pretend to like, and why?

  56. Tell your partner the story behind one of your scars.

  57. What do you buy just to feel safe?

  58. Where did your family go on holiday when you were small, and what did you do all day?

  59. What would your twelve-year-old find embarrassing about your life now?

  60. Which of your childhood friends do you wish you had treated better?

  61. Tell your partner about a coworker who knew how to make a shift go faster.

  62. How do you behave when someone tries to look after you?

  63. Which friendship are you keeping alive on your own?

  64. Were you raised with religion, and what's left of it now?

  65. What got you in the most trouble at school?

  66. Tell your partner about the worst date you ever sat all the way through.

  67. Which false impression of you have you allowed people to keep?

  68. What do you hope you never have to do again?

  69. Why did you last end up in a hospital bed?

  70. Who was your first crush, and what did you do about it?

  71. Who has to listen to you complain about your day?

  72. If I'd met you ten years ago, what would I have gotten wrong about you?

Level 2

  1. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?

  2. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?

  3. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

  4. What do you value most in a friendship?

  5. What is your most treasured memory?

  6. What is your most terrible memory?

  7. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are living now? Why?

  8. What does friendship mean to you?

  9. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

  10. Taking turns, what are five good things about your partner?

  11. How close and warm is your family? Was your childhood happier than most people's?

  12. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

  13. Who believed in you before you'd done anything to earn it?

  14. What are you most afraid of becoming?

  15. What did your family argue about most when you were growing up?

  16. Tell your partner about a friendship that ended. Do you know why it did?

  17. Tell your partner what you noticed about them in the first minute, and whether you were right.

  18. What's something you've been carrying this year that you haven't said out loud to anyone?

  19. How is your relationship with your family different from how it looks from the outside?

  20. Tell your partner about a time you let someone down.

  21. Describe a time you disappointed someone whose opinion mattered to you.

  22. Which compliment do you have the hardest time believing?

  23. Which regret still affects the way you treat people now?

  24. What do you do to get people to like you?

  25. What did you get through that you've never called hard?

  26. Which apology do you still owe?

  27. Who do you miss who is still alive?

  28. What's the closest you've come to giving up?

  29. What were you taught to do with anger?

  30. Who do you owe an apology you may never give?

  31. What did your family refuse to talk about?

  32. What question did you hope I would not ask you today?

  33. At what moment tonight did you nearly not answer honestly?

  34. Who saw you at your worst and stayed?

  35. What did I say tonight that landed harder than I realised?

  36. When did you first make a choice your family would not have made for you?

  37. Who did you stop resenting? What changed?

  38. What have you done out of loyalty that you would not do again?

  39. Who do you miss even though having them in your life was hard?

  40. How do you fight when you know you are losing an argument?

  41. Who did you stop talking to without ever telling them why?

  42. When did you realize an apology would not fix what happened?

  43. What did you give up on because you knew you were not good enough?

  44. When did you first realize you had power over someone?

  45. Who gets the worst of you because you trust them to stay?

  46. Who knows the worst thing about you?

  47. When have you felt like a guest in your own family?

  48. When did money first make you feel different from the people around you?

  49. What do you miss from the life you chose not to live?

  50. Which piece of your family history is hardest to explain?

  51. When have you stayed too long because leaving felt like failure?

  52. Who do you let treat you badly? Why them?

  53. When has your body frightened you?

  54. When has being wanted led you to make a bad choice?

  55. When have you stayed because leaving felt like failure?

  56. What have you forgiven that you swore you never would?

  57. Who taught you the most about love through a bad example?

  58. Tell me the last time you asked someone to stay.

  59. What do you wish you wanted less?

  60. Which of your habits ruins things for you most often?

  61. Who was the last person to call you a disappointment?

  62. Who took you to your first funeral, and whose was it?

  63. Which part of your reputation is wrong?

  64. Share a time envy made you behave badly.

  65. When were you loneliest? Who had no idea?

  66. Who do you refuse to ever forgive?

  67. Who taught you to hide what you were feeling?

  68. What did you exaggerate today just to impress me?

  69. Tell your partner about a choice that closed off another life you could have had.

  70. Tell me what you think it costs you to be the way you are.

  71. What have you forgiven someone for without ever telling them?

  72. Whose face do you see when you look in the mirror?

Level 3

  1. What are three true statements that begin with "we"? For instance, "We are both in this room feeling…"

  2. Finish this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share…"

  3. If you were going to become close friends with your partner, what would be important for them to know?

  4. What do you like about your partner? Be very honest this time, saying things you might not say to someone you have just met.

  5. What is an embarrassing moment from your life?

  6. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

  7. What do you like about your partner already?

  8. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

  9. If you were to die this evening with no chance to speak to anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?

  10. Your house, with everything you own in it, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you can make one final dash for a single item. What would it be? Why?

  11. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

  12. What personal problem would you like your partner's advice on? Then let them tell you how you seem to feel about it.

  13. Who in your life do you love but can't be honest with? What would you say if you could?

  14. What have you wanted to ask me but decided was too personal?

  15. What are you worried I may have already judged you for?

  16. What would make you pull away from me, even if you liked me?

  17. What feeling about me are you least comfortable saying aloud?

  18. What have you already trusted me with that you did not expect to say?

  19. If we became close, what would be hardest for you to tell me?

  20. What do you wish someone had noticed when you were struggling?

  21. What will you remember about this conversation tomorrow morning?

  22. What do you want from me that you'd never ask for?

  23. Tell me where you think I am loneliest.

  24. Who are you lying to the most? What is the lie?

  25. Whose death brought you some relief? Have you ever admitted that?

  26. What has loving someone cost you?

  27. Who would tell the truth about you at your funeral?

  28. Which of your parents do you still want something from? What is it?

  29. Who do you love out of duty?

  30. What did your last breakup teach you about your own cruelty?

  31. Whose pain do you feel responsible for?

  32. Who did you walk away from when they needed you?

  33. When did you know you could no longer go home?

  34. Tell me something true about me you've worked out in the last hour.

  35. What about me reminds you of someone you've loved?

  36. Which answer of mine changed your mind about me?

  37. Tell me what you think I need to hear tonight.

  38. What do you think I am pretending not to care about?

  39. Ask me for something you rarely ask anyone for.

  40. What do you guess is the hardest thing about being in a relationship with me?

  41. How are you a disappointment to your family?

  42. What is the hardest sentence you have ever said out loud to someone?

  43. Who do you miss that you will never speak to again?

  44. When did you learn that love could be withdrawn?

  45. Who did you hurt the most? How did you justify it to yourself?

  46. Which goodbye changed the way you love people?

  47. Whose funeral are you most afraid of attending?

  48. Who was the first person you lost? What did that do to you?

  49. If you could have one more conversation with someone who's dead, who, and what's your first sentence?

  50. What do you know about yourself that keeps you awake?

  51. Who do you want in the room at the end of your life?

  52. What would a good death look like for you?

  53. Say what you would miss if we never spoke again.

  54. What do you hope I think of you now?

  55. Which loss changed your everyday life most?

  56. What would you want me to say if you were dying?

  57. If this were our last conversation, how would you want it to end?